By Tanni Haas, Ph.D. | Contributor
While experiencing mild stress is a normal part of life, excessive and prolonged stress can have serious repercussions on your children’s physical, mental, and emotional well-being. In such cases, what steps can you take to prevent your children from feeling overwhelmed? Experts suggest the following strategies:
Prioritize Your Own Well-Being – Set an Example for Stress Management
It may seem counterproductive, but taking care of your own well-being and managing your stress is crucial. “Stress is quite contagious,” explains child psychotherapistLynn Lyons, author ofAnxious Kids, Anxious Parents. “When parents are overwhelmed with stress, their children often feel it too.” Therefore, it is beneficial to remain calm and demonstrate healthy coping mechanisms. “Just as flight attendants instruct passengers to secure their own oxygen masks before helping others,” adds child psychologistDr. Jamie Howard, “parents must prioritize their own emotional and physical needs to effectively support their kids.” This involves avoiding long periods of fatigue or hunger and seeking emotional support from trusted peers when necessary. “When you prioritize your own needs and practice self-care,” states Dr. Amy Przeworski, a child psychology professor, “your child learns that taking care of oneself is vital. Children observe and mimic their parents, so when considering your child’s mental health, reflect on your own as well.”
“Children observe and mimic their parents, so when considering your child’s mental health, reflect on your own as well.”
Dr. Amy Przeworski
Teach Kids About Stress and Its Recognition
It’s essential to educate your children on the nature of stress and how to identify it. Mrs. Lyons emphasizes the importance of helping kids “understand their own bodies and how stress affects them.” They should learn to differentiate between normal reactions and those that indicate excessive stress. For instance, while it’s typical to feel butterflies in the stomach on the first day of school, experiencing stomach pains that lead to leaving class or frequent headaches suggests they may be overwhelmed. Child psychotherapistKatie Hurley, author ofThe Happy Kids Handbook, concurs: “To help your child make connections, outline a body and mark where stress manifests.” Teach them about various physical symptoms of stress, such as back pain, headaches, and stomach issues, to help them understand their reactions. As Mrs. Hurley states, “The more children grasp the link between their symptoms and stress, the more equipped they will be to seek help.”
Foster Resilience in Your Children
In addition to recognizing stress, focus on building your children’s resilience to it. One effective approach is teaching them to take deep breaths during stressful moments. “Deep breathing can significantly influence the body,” says licensed mental health counselorJanice Halloran, author ofThe Coping Skills for Kids Workbook. “When stressed, the body enters a fight, flight, or freeze response, causing shallow breathing. Deep breaths can help the body return to a more relaxed state.” Practicing relaxation techniques together is also beneficial. Dr. Przeworski recommends guiding your kids to imagine a peaceful place, like a beach or a hammock, while considering all the associated sounds, smells, and sensations.
“Deep breathing can significantly influence the body.”
Janice Halloran,licensed mental health counselor
Encouraging your children to face their fears directly rather than avoiding them can also enhance their resilience. Licensed psychotherapistAmy Morin, author of13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do, illustrates this point with the example of elevators. If a child fears elevators and you consistently suggest taking the stairs, you inadvertently teach them that they are too fragile to use the elevator. “They learn to think, ‘I’m not capable. If I’m afraid, I shouldn’t engage. My parents doubt my abilities, so why should I trust myself?’” Children internalize the behaviors of the adults around them. “When kids are surrounded by resilient role models,” states child psychologistDr. Lyn O’Grady, “they are more likely to cultivate their own resilience through both observation and explicit social-emotional instruction.”
Encourage Engaging in Stress-Free Activities
Finally, introduce stress-free activities for your children to engage in when they feel overwhelmed. Mrs. Hurley proposes establishing “stress-free zones” or “relaxation corners” in your home where kids can partake in enjoyable activities. In a similar vein, Mrs. Lyons advocates for encouraging pursuits that are free from competition or specific outcomes, thus reducing pressure. Activities such as outdoor sports—bike riding, hiking, or running—offer opportunities for “pure play,” devoid of stress and performance goals.
About the Author: Tanni Haas is a Professor in the Department of Communication Arts, Sciences & Disorders at Brooklyn College, City University of New York.
Editor’s Note: This content is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment and does not comprise medical or other professional guidance.
