By Deborah Walsh Dobbs, M.A. | Contributor
Last year, the acclaimed film The Shawshank Redemption, inspired by a novella by Stephen King, experienced a resurgence in popularity. Set within the confines of a prison, it presents a narrative filled with darkness and hardship, yet it consistently emphasizes themes of camaraderie and hope. Viewers observe how a handful of inmates not only adjust to their circumstances but also create purpose in their lives behind the walls of Shawshank. One character, Brooks, nurtures a baby crow, feeding him maggots scavenged from the prison meals. Another, known as Red, operates as a facilitator, sourcing cigarettes, posters, or anything else a prisoner desires from the outside world. Meanwhile, Andy Dufresne persuades the warden to allow him to establish a library. The year 2020 marked a notable revival for The Shawshank Redemption.
Though I wouldn’t equate our reaction to COVID-19 with being imprisoned, we have certainly been required to adapt, losing certain freedoms that we once took for granted.
Even with the availability of vaccines, a definitive conclusion to the pandemic seems elusive.
Throughout the lockdowns and extensive mandates, social media flooded with posts showcasing new hobbies. Baking bread surged in popularity. I personally picked up a banjo, which I still struggle to play. If you have a teenager, you might have observed them engaging in some peculiar or atypical behaviors—like rearranging their rooms multiple times, exploring new color themes, experimenting with different hairstyles, or organizing spaces like closets and pantries. They may have started paying closer attention to their surroundings, creating a new atmosphere with candles, incense, or soothing music. These actions weren’t merely antidotes to boredom; they infused our lives with purpose. While the initial excitement may have diminished, the significance of finding meaning remains powerful.
During adolescence, young individuals typically foster independence and lean more on friends rather than parents.
The pandemic has disrupted this critical developmental phase, leaving many teens without a typical formative experience. Nonetheless, they still retain the ability to decide how they will interpret these challenging times. Finding meaning doesn’t just entail looking for silver linings in adverse situations; it involves actively shaping what we can glean from them. It is also distinct from discovering life’s purpose. (I haven’t encountered any pandemic bakers who left their jobs to start a bakery.) The process of finding meaning may be straightforward or complex, expected or surprising, emerging through both success and failure.
Everyone finds meaning in their own way, so it’s important to refrain from imposing ideas on others (including yourself).
A suggestion or task may spark an interest, but the act of creating meaning arises naturally and authentically.
How can you assist your teen in discovering this sense of meaning?
If your child communicates openly with you, simply inquire about any new passions or pursuits they’ve developed. You can also invite them to share a hobby or interest with you, serving as a starting point for discussion. While it’s common for teens to decline such offers, doing so can lead to meaningful conversations about what they enjoy or are interested in trying. If direct conversation isn’t comfortable, observe for hints. Should you notice your teen showing interest in something—whether it’s a new hobby or a return to something from the past—support that curiosity. While it’s key to avoid becoming overly enthusiastic, as this can sometimes diminish interest, many teens may now be tired of technology (thanks to remote learning) and seek more tangible experiences. Numerous young people have grown fond of nostalgic activities, such as collecting vinyl records, assembling jigsaw puzzles, or making friendship bracelets. Consider introducing fresh items into their environment, such as board games, art materials, paint-by-number sets, model kits, sidewalk chalk, or sports equipment like a basketball or skateboard. Simply placing these items within sight can spark interest. Perhaps you have a Brooks in your household who would delight in creating a bird feeder for their window. Maybe there’s a Red among them who could manage inventory and grocery shopping for the family. If an Andy Dufresne exists in your midst, she could repurpose all the books she has read during the pandemic into a piece of furniture.
The pandemic often appears unending, with its ramifications ranging from profound grief to persistent monotony. As parents, we may feel exhausted, frustrated, or powerless. We are unable to restore to our teens what they have missed or lost. And when it comes to creating meaning from these chaos, we can’t do it for them either. However, we can provide our children with opportunities to discover for themselves how they wish to form meaning from their experiences.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Deborah Walsh Dobbs is a sociologist with over two decades of experience at The Counseling Place, a non-profit dedicated to enhancing emotional well-being in individuals of all ages. She holds a Bachelor’s degree from The University of Texas at Austin and a Master’s degree from the University of North Texas. A self-proclaimed enthusiast of food, whiskey, and wine, Deborah is also proud to be a mother, wife, non-profit leader, and writer. Contact her at 469.283.0242 or visit counselingplace.org.
