By Christa Melnyk Hines | Contributor
Looking to infuse more happiness into your home this year? Consider altering your perspective. Cultivating a positive mindset not only leads to a more joyful existence for yourself but can also significantly affect your children’s ability to face everyday challenges.
“Children observe their parents closely. They absorb emotions and beliefs. A positive mindset can be infectious—just like negativity can be,” explains psychologist Dr. Kristen Hensley.
The benefits of positivity.A sunny outlook enhances productivity, boosts energy and motivation, alleviates stress, increases self-esteem, promotes health, and enriches relationships.
“Maintaining a cheerful perspective can also enable us to think more flexibly and discover solutions to difficulties more easily,” Hensley notes. “Seeking the silver lining can foster mental resilience and overall optimism.”
“Recognizing silver linings can be challenging, particularly during periods of grief or personal crises. It’s important to be kind to yourself, allow time for healing, and seek assistance if needed.”
Encourage self-awareness.Tracking your moods can provide insight into what you need to focus on for your well-being on a daily basis.
Jessica Mostaffa, a specialist in early childhood mental health and a therapist for mothers experiencing depression, emphasizes that this approach enables her clients to cultivate mindfulness about their emotional health.
Compile a happiness list.Create a list of activities that elevate your spirits during tough times. This might include taking a soothing bath, enjoying a comedy, gardening, or taking a stroll with a friend.
“When mothers prioritize personal time, it not only alleviates symptoms of depression but also enhances their interactions and relationships with their children, partners, and others at home,” Mostaffa observes.
Encourage your children to make their own lists as well. When feelings of anger or sadness arise, they can refer to their lists to help them cope constructively. Activities might include shooting hoops, listening to music, drawing, reading, or chatting with a trusted friend.
Reframe negative thoughts.Rather than dismissing them, aim to engage with the pessimistic thoughts that arise.
Mostaffa advises asking yourself grounding questions such as: “What evidence supports this thought?” “What evidence contradicts it?” “What’s the worst-case scenario?” “What’s the best-case scenario?” “What’s the most probable outcome?”
Compile a list of activities that improve your mood during times of depletion.
Watch your language.Pay attention to how you phrase responsibilities toward yourself and others. Instead of saying: “It’s my duty to ensure the kids complete their homework,” consider saying: “It’s my privilege to support my children in making choices that benefit them.”
“These small changes can have significant impacts on our lives,” says Carla McClellan, an ACC-certified life coach.
Express gratitude.Encourage a culture of positive thinking at meal times by asking family members to share three things they are thankful for and the reasons behind their choices. Bedtime can also be a wonderful opportunity to reflect on the day.
“Daily affirmations can have a lasting effect,” Hensley states. “These don’t need to be monumental. A five-year-old might express gratitude for a cupcake received at school, as it brought joy. The goal is to teach this mindset so it naturally integrates into daily life.”
Craft a vision board.Visualize what your family aims to achieve in the year ahead. You could create a collective board or individual ones. Gather old magazines, scissors, glue, and poster boards. Cut out motivating words, images, and phrases that resonate.
Engage in discussions by asking: “What aspirations do we hold for the upcoming year?” “What outcomes do we wish to see?” “What would our dream vacation entail?”
Set intentions.In addition to your daily tasks, create a “to-be” list. Every morning, set an intention for who you want to be each day. Will you be kind, loving, generous, or enthusiastic?
“Setting an intention serves as a concentrated focus for our energies. By defining who we aspire to be, we can embrace that identity,” McClellan remarks.
Promote quiet time.Unplugged time fosters creativity, problem-solving abilities, and stress relief.
As a family, unwind together before bedtime through activities like reading, drawing, or watching a show. This shared time helps children decompress and provides them with a platform to voice their thoughts, worries, or stories from the day.
Balance positives and negatives.If your child is experiencing difficulties at school or home, encourage them to jot down one positive aspect of the situation on one side of a card and a negative aspect on the other.
“Reassure children that experiencing negative thoughts and feelings is completely acceptable. We just don’t want these to dominate our lives.”
Dr. Kristen Hensley
“Following this, you can discuss each aspect with your child, exploring how each one makes them feel and what consequences might arise from both perspectives,” Hensley suggests. “Remind children that having negative thoughts and feelings is normal, but they shouldn’t take control of our lives.”
Engage in play.Experts agree that families who prioritize play share deeper connections and greater happiness. Whether it’s playing football, engaging in a card game, dancing in the living room, or inventing games during road trips, play has the power to strengthen familial bonds.
Experiment with various activities that resonate with your family. “These types of activities and rituals are crucial as they model a positive mindset, promote healthy thought patterns, and assist children in understanding the relationship between feelings, thoughts, and actions,” Hensley adds.
Additional resources:
The Secrets of Happy Families by Bruce Feiler
Playful Parenting by Lawrence J. Cohen
Simple Fun for Busy People: 333 Free Ways to Enjoy Your Loved Ones More in the Time You Have by Gary Krane, Ph.D.
“Inside Out” – an animated Pixar film exploring emotions
EDITOR’S NOTE: Depression is a serious condition. If you or someone you love is experiencing persistent sadness, appetite changes, sleep issues, decreased energy, or suicidal thoughts, please consult your family physician.
RESOURCES: https://www.granthalliburton.org/resources
