By Jeff Anderson| Contributor
Divorce can commence in various ways. Some individuals approach a lawyer upfront, providing a retainer and entering into contracts to initiate the process. Others may consult an attorney first and then return home to compile the necessary paperwork in preparation for the divorce. If you suspect your partner might be discreetly making preparations for a separation, here are some indicators to watch for.
Children
Imagine you and your spouse have consistently shared parenting duties—Dad handles soccer, while Mom manages dance classes. Homework support is a joint effort as well. Suddenly, a noticeable shift occurs: one parent takes on the bulk of responsibilities, like transporting the kids to events, scheduling medical appointments, organizing playdates, preparing meals, and settling the children at bedtime. This dramatic change establishes a new dynamic, even if both parents remain physically present. After a few months of this one-sided involvement, the new arrangement becomes difficult to overlook.
Similar shifts may manifest in other aspects of your children’s lives. For instance, one parent’s family may be increasingly dominant, as the other is sidelined. Activities that previously required joint involvement are now being managed solely by one parent, who may also be establishing savings accounts for the children and contributing substantial amounts of money.
Another sign could be if the kids are suddenly seeing a therapist for the first time. If one parent is considering a divorce and preparing for potential litigation, they might see an advantage in having a qualified therapist provide expert testimony. This counselor could deliver insights to the court regarding your children, potentially reflecting unprompted comments made during their sessions. If one parent has influenced the kids’ statements, it could lead to unwelcome revelations.
Financial Indicators
Your financial situation may also signal signs of a looming divorce. If you notice a decrease in funds in your accounts despite no changes in employment or expenses, it could indicate that your spouse is secretly saving money in an account separate from yours. More concerning is if your partner has opened a new account and is transferring money there without your knowledge, potentially gearing up for a conflict. Accumulating cash is crucial for hiring legal representation and beginning anew.
Ultimately, it can be a strategy of safeguarding one’s finances while attempting to reduce the other’s access to resources. Watch for red flags such as the creation of a P.O. Box, new credit cards with higher limits, or the closure of shared credit accounts. If your spouse appears to be gathering bills and financial documents in a more organized manner, it may indicate they have received advice on preparing for a divorce.
Additional Signs
Take note if your spouse starts keeping a journal or has begun recording audio, video, or photos more frequently—this behavior might be influenced by external guidance. You may also observe changes in their social media activity. A shift in the tone of their posts may signal discontent, particularly if they adopt a more innocent or wholesome narrative. Additionally, check for older posts that may have been deleted—ones they may wish to keep from a judge’s scrutiny.
Have your spouse’s passwords changed, or have they become more secretive with their devices? Are they using new terminology such as “best interest,” “community property,” or “no-fault?”
These can all be indications that consultations with a divorce lawyer have taken place. It may be wise to consider consulting with a certified family law attorney to evaluate your situation and determine a suitable action plan.
Editor’s Note: Jeff Anderson is a partner at the Family Law firm Orsinger, Nelson, Downing & Anderson, LLP. To book a consultation, call 972.963.5459 or visit www.ondafamilylaw.com.
