Handle Life’s Challenges Gradually
by Deb Silverthorn
Envision a sandwich crafted from the layers of life, with tempting slices of “children’s toast” and “parent bagel,” trimmed with considerations like school fees and elderly care. The spread includes the thin layers of extracurriculars and health services. At its heart lies the protein—the baby boomers and Generation X, providing essential nourishment.
According to data from the Social Security Administration, individuals currently reaching the age of 65 are projected to live around 84 years, with nearly one in four expected to surpass 90, and one in ten reaching 95 or more. As many individuals are starting families later in life, it’s increasingly common to find ourselves supporting both our parents and our children financially and with our time.
What’s the secret to navigating this complex scenario? Tackle that hearty sandwich one bite at a time.
“It’s a delicate balancing act to juggle it all, and self-care is essential. Finding even an hour or two to focus on yourself—be it at the gym, enjoying music, diving into a book, or engaging in a cherished hobby—may feel challenging, but it’s vital. There should be an enlightening moment when caregivers recognize that their own needs are not optional,” notes Dr. Sandy Gluckman, an expert in learning and behavioral challenges.
Practice in Frisco, Texas sees Dr. Gluckman support numerous families facing similar dilemmas, believing that valuable lessons can be gleaned by everyone involved. “When you are spending time with your children, it’s dedicated to them; the same applies when you’re with your parents,” she emphasizes. “‘Love the one you’re with,’ as the saying goes,” she advises, referencing her book, Parents, Take Charge, which is transforming how treatment is approached for children with learning and behavioral issues. “Your actions around your aging parents are being observed by your children; you’re demonstrating how you wish to be cared for in return.”
Setting the right foundation is vital for any family to thrive. Be it financial strategies for college-bound children, securing appropriate living conditions and healthcare for aging parents, or the often difficult conversations about their desires in case of serious health issues, laying everything out before moving forward is crucial.
“Proactive planning is essential. Illness, accidents, and aging can strike at any point, from age 18 to 93. Everyone should have an advance directive to ensure their wishes are known,” asserts David Stanley, who is both the owner and Chief Caregiver at Custom Caregiver, a role he finds deeply fulfilling. “Regrettably, it often takes a crisis for families to ask the question, ‘what’s next?’ The transition from handling simple tasks for a parent to providing full-time care can happen in an instant.”
“Those of us sandwiched in between must continuously advocate—both for our children in educational settings and for our parents in personal matters,” adds Stanley, who is also a proud father of a young child and a grandparent to an infant, with his 87-year-old mother close by. Custom Caregivers supports aging parents by offering services such as fall prevention, companionship, Alzheimer’s and dementia care, grooming help, continence management, meal preparation, medication reminders, and light housekeeping across the DFW metroplex. “Take steps to simplify your life in this transitional phase. Plan ahead, regularly reassess your strategies, and always be prepared for unforeseen bumps in the road. Focus on what you can control.”
Prepare for life’s feast—curate your agenda, savor each moment, and approach it one bite at a time.
