Embracing the Next Phase
by Kristin Cicciarelli | Contributor
Congratulations! Your child is embarking on an exciting new journey, whether that involves heading off to college, starting a new job, or entering a significant relationship. This is a moment to commend yourself for your achievements as a parent. However, you might find yourself feeling less celebratory and more glued to your device, anxiously awaiting a call or text. Why is that?
The term “empty nest syndrome” is widely recognized, yet many might not fully grasp that it can encompass deep feelings of sorrow. This emotional response is often heightened by additional life changes, such as menopause, retirement, or the responsibilities of caring for aging parents. When a child leaves home, it can bring forth feelings of loss and uncertainty, marking a significant life shift that takes time to navigate. It requires patience to adjust back into your own independent life after devoting so many years to parenting.
Both genders can experience empty nest syndrome, but studies suggest that women may feel it more intensely, likely due to the nurturing roles many mothers adopt. Therapist Suzanne Feiler from the Insights Collaborative Therapy Group in Dallas emphasizes the importance of approaching this transition with intention. She suggests that crafting a positive perspective on this new chapter can be immensely empowering. “This is a time to acknowledge the monumental task you’ve accomplished over the past eighteen years, so allow yourself to appreciate that achievement,” she states, also noting that it’s a chance for mothers to redirect their nurturing energy towards themselves for a change.
If you are married or in a committed partnership, this transition period is also an ideal opportunity to strengthen your bond with your partner. Consider marking this occasion with a festive celebration or enjoyable outing together. According to Mary Sanger, a marriage and family therapist and founder of Insights, there are several strategies for couples to navigate this stage effectively. She suggests, “Create shared goals to look forward to, like planning weekend getaways or establishing a dinner or book club with other empty nesters. Explore old interests together and embark on new adventures as well. If downsizing is on your mind—something many empty nesters consider—take your time. Rapid changes can be psychologically taxing.”
Take a moment to acknowledge your feelings of sadness. Celebrate the milestones you’ve achieved. Be kind to yourself during this transition, and communicate with others about your experiences, whether that’s with your partner, a close friend, or a therapist.
